Replacements pt. 3} Deadpool x Reader

You woke up snuggled into your ex, his strong arm slung lazily over your waist, although he had a grip on you, as if to keep you with him. You missed this. You didn't open your eyes for fear of this being a dream. Your head hurt though, a pounding headache in your temple. You could feel his heart steadily pounding into your back, and you gave a sigh, deciding to bring up the question gnawing in your gut.

"Kai? What am I doing here?" You mumbled tiredly.

"Shh babe just let it happen. Damn you are hot. Can we have sex now?" His voice was different. Deeper? Maybe. You did recognize it though. You opened your eyes groggily, letting them rest on the dirty hardwood floor of Kai's bedroom.

Dirty floor? Hardwood? Kai's bedroom was always annoyingly clean. And he had carpets. This wasn't right. Your heart pounded against your ribs, almost making it hard to breathe right. The voice. Pounding headache. The warehouse by the shipping docks. You jolted awake, throwing a red and black spandex clad arm of your waist. Your eyes flew around the room, trying to make sense of your surroundings. Light shone through a window, illuminating the thick layer of dust that settled on everything in the room. A busted up dresser. Wallpaper peeling.

You backed up, bumping into the door. Your hand grasped the doorknob as Deadpool stood up from the bed, cracking his back with an audible pop. He rubbed his neck as he walked over.

"Please don't run, I am honestly so tired and I really just wanna sleep." He groaned. You answered, voice surprisingly strong.

"I dunno, I tend to hate being kidnapped by crazy mutants." You smirked. Deadpool laughed darkly, standing still. Suddenly he lunged at you, but you had him right where you wanted him. You swung open the door and side stepped, letting him fall onto the floor. You dodged his fallen body, which was starting to get up by the time you reached the hallway. You turned into the kitchen, looking for anything that could be used to defend yourself. Your eyes settled on a knife on the dirty counter.

"(Name)! Come out come out, wherever you are!" He sang cheerily, sending chills down your spine. Creepy AF, You thought. You slunk to the door, dismayed when you found it was locked. You walked to the corner where the hallway started, and suddenly you were met with a sprinting Deadpool knocking you over. He looked just as surprised as you. You stared, wide eyed into the white eyeholes in his mask. You weren't but three inches from his face.

You attempted to struggle free, but found you were held down. Talk about déjà vu. You looked back up at his mask, nose bumping into his. His face sunk down close to your ear, and you could feel his hot breath against the skin beneath your ear. You shivered inadvertently.

"Well isn't this just a compromising position we're in." He whispered into your ear. You squirmed.

"No way in hell I'd ever do that with you." You grumbled defensively. He snorted, laughing obnoxiously.

"We'll see babe. I can be pretty, persuasive." He hopped off of you, extending his hand to help you up. You glared up at him, and smacked away his hand. He shrugged, and sauntered into the kitchen. You stood, admitting defeat and followed him into the kitchen, careful to stand on the other side of the counter.

"For breakfast, I have pancakes, pancakes, and a shit ton more pancakes. Smells like victory." He said, and tossed a plate over towards you, and you ducked the plate hurling right where your face was. It shattered into the floor, spraying glass shards all over the floor. You cursed yourself for not wearing shoes during your nap yesterday, although you knew it was pointless.

Your head shot up just in time to see Deadpool whirling around to grumble something about his favorite plate. He tossed another plate over, and this time you caught it. He stacked up a couple pancakes. You sat down on the barstool, not touching the pancakes.

"Who was your client?" You asked.

"Why does it matter? I mean, BOR-ing!"

"I wanna know who wanted me dead, and who wanted me saved." You said, exasperated.

"Well what does it matter? I mean, I was the one to save you, which is more important, isn't it." He pointed out. You rolled your (e/c) eyes, annoyed by his stupid logic.

"Fine." You muttered.

"Ugh, why are you so sexy?! I can't help but give you info!" He yelled. "He's a big macho man, interested in your abilities." He gives me a lot of coin to keep you outta trouble."

"So naturally you kidnap me", you criticized. "Genius."

"Glad you think so! I mean, where better to kelp you safe than here, where I can sex with you!"

"NO!" You yelped, worried for your own good.

"Alright. Later then." He muttered. "Eat your damn pancakes babe!" You frowned.

"I feel it would be a serious health risk eating in a dump like this. So many rules on culinary safety are being breached here." You smirked.

He scoffed. "Alright, I'll clean shit up!" He yelled. You smiled. Perfect. I already have him wrapped around my finger. You thought.

You hopped down from the barstool, tiptoeing around the glass shards from the plate, and settled into an armchair in the living room after flicking a few wrappers off of the grungy yellow cushion.